With a Holy Land Like This World Has, Who Needs Hell?
Rusty
Fires everywhere? Check. Misery? Check. Screams of agony? Check. Hatred reigns supreme? Check. No hope for salvation? Check.
Put your Bibles and Qu’rans and Torahs away, Christians and Muslims and Jews, what you need to learn about life and death and judgment is all around you. The scribbling of self-appointed prophets is not going to save you from the madness of your leaders. Going to a church, mosque, or synagogue to pray is not going to save you from their lunacy. Your own ignorance, apathy, and selfishness have elevated them to power, and now you are reaping what you have sown.
I have news for you, Hell is not awaiting the wicked at the hour of their death, it’s taking a fiery road trip through that Holy Land you all keep talking about. Hell is here on earth, raging among us, and you are the ones who invited it to drop in and say hello. Your intolerance and self-righteousness have beckoned it, and it’s leaving its flaming footprints all over that sacred Holy Land soil you say you cherish so much.
So congratulations! Gather your fellow believers together, do some channel-surfing, and behold your handiwork. Israeli missiles are raining down on Lebanon. Hezbollah missiles are raining down on Israel. Beirut is burning. Gaza is burning. Haifa is burning. Nazareth is back in the news. Death has been elected president of Iraq and is doing a heckuva job. The Rapture is on the way, sponsored by The Republican National Committee and free to anyone who can pay $1000 a plate to eat chicken and potato salad with George W. Bush and his lovely wife Laura.
Yup. That love and forgiveness Christianity and Islam and Judaism praise so highly is blossoming everywhere from New Orleans to Pyongyang, but especially in Bush’s patented Eden of Democracy, nestled there in the Cradle of Civilization where Babylon used to be until Jehovah smote it back to the Stone Age to show all those Babylonian homosexuals who was in charge and who wasn’t.
Where was I? Oh yes, love and forgiveness. Well, they’re blossoming in the heart of every believer in God or Allah or Yahweh, except perhaps among the Sunnis in sunny Iraq, who hate the Shi’ites, the Kurds, the Zionists, and the Christians. Not that the Shi’ites have been slouches in the love and forgiveness department, they are loving and forgiving Sunnis every chance they get, usually with a bullet at point blank range and an all expenses paid free trip to the nearest Baghdad morgue.
I would be remiss if I forget Allah’s special ambassador of good will on earth, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran, who hates everybody. The Holocaust? Never happened. Nuke program? What nuke program? He doesn’t need a nuke program. Don’t ask him about that, he’s busy plotting to wipe Israel off the face of the earth with the WMD’s Saddam smuggled to Bashir Asad, who sent them off to Teheran lickity split because Syrian Sunnis love Iranian Shi’ites almost as much as they love Jews.
What has brought such peace and tranquil splendor to the “Holy Land” here at the dawn of the Third Millennium? The deep religious faith, comprehensive stragedies, and uniter not divider skills of George W. Bush, that’s what. Revered and adored and voted for by America’s own devout Christians, he has unleashed Hell on us all on their behalf and with their blessing.
Catching large mouth bass in his lake, neck-rubbing heads-of-state, and screwing Condi in the back of limousines are just hobbies for The Decider, his destiny is to lead the world into Armageddon so Jesus will come back to earth and wipe it out with fire and earthquakes and floods and pestilence. Of course Burning Bush, Inc. can’t SAY that, it might upset the liberals and homosexuals and activist judges and Negroes and college professors and feminists and environmentalist whackos who don’t understand the Holy Scriptures.
According to these proclaimers of God's love for his earthly children, we deserve the eternal damnation about to befall us, because we don’t love God and are filled with demonic anger at God’s Messenger and his faithful disciples in the Republican Party. We are Acolytes of Satan and must be prepared to gnash our teeth, etc, because it’s God’s will that Joe Lieberman is a fucking liar, and Karl Rove is a traitor, and Richard Bruce Cheney is batshit insane, and that the Israelis have been unleashed by the Lord to bomb the living daylights out of Lebanon so the armies of Gog and Magog will see the fires and know how to get to Armageddon for their big showdown with The Lamb and his legions of holy angels.
Then again, it might be God’s will that the Netroots slays the RePug Goliath with a slingshot on Election Day, reclaims the land of our fathers, heals the afflicted, and ensures the blessings of peace and justice unto the seventh generation or at least 2099, whichever comes first.
Grab your slingshots everyone, let's nail Goliath right between the eyes, watch him go down, and bury him in a toxic waste dump somewhere in Texas.
Comment # 1 ~ Alma ~ 07/21/2006 05:09 GMT WOW! When your writers block ends, it ends with a vengeance. You nail things so precisely that it doesn't leave a lot of room for comments.
Comment # 2 ~ Rusty ~ 07/21/2006 05:24 GMT Alma of My Diary, my writer's block vanished as suddenly as that pumpkin pie on your daughter's plate. I don't know why it came and I don't know why it went, all I know is it's gone until next time.
Comment # 3 ~ Alma ~ 07/21/2006 19:56 GMT I bet it was seeing the Old Dutch Potato Chip web site. The thought of all that yummy goodness energized your brain. You'll have to thank Feline.
Comment # 4 ~ Rusty ~ 07/21/2006 20:14 GMT My ability to concentrate DID start to improve as soon as I clicked that link Feline provided and saw that magnificent potato chip product everyone keeps talking about. I owe her BIG TIME.
Comment # 5 ~ tahoebasha1 ~ 07/22/2006 02:36 GMT Rusty, you've taken us around the world in about 10 minutes, then bringing us right back to the origin of all the problems with religion as base.
"When will they ever learn -- when will they ever learn?"
Comment # 6 ~ Rusty ~ 07/22/2006 03:08 GMT I guess all we can really do is keep telling the truth.
Comment # 7 ~ Patriot ~ 07/23/2006 18:42 GMT Rusty, I keep thinking I've read your best work then you top yourself. This is amazing writing and so to the point. I was greatly moved by it.
Comment # 8 ~ Rusty ~ 07/28/2006 19:13 GMT Thank you, Patriot, trying to move people is my job here, that's why I get that six-figure salary and interesting bonuses like art from your Prague gallery.
Comment # 9 ~ Rusty ~ 08/03/2006 05:49 GMT By the way, Patriot, that yacht you promised me as a second fiscal quarter bonus has not arrived yet. I may have to write your payroll staff a strongly worded letter about that.
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